There are a lot of skills you need to have in order to be a good parent. The one that you will probably hear the most is how important patience is. Patience. Patience. Patience. Well I have that. I have a lot of that actually. Or I thought I did. I was always so great with other children, from family to children I took care of. Frustration was never part of my vocabulary. Parenting on the other hand is very different. Maybe it is because all of those other children I could give back. Maybe even though I would spend eight to ten hours a day with those children, at the end of the day I was able to walk away, to get a break. Maybe it is because I got a lot more sleep back then than I am getting now. I get frustrated with my child. The fact that I get frustrated with her frustrates me. I love her so much, so I couldn’t understand why I would end up with no patience. I started to evaluate myself and realized, it really wasn’t my fault anymore than it was hers. I wasn’t getting a break from her. At all. I had her from birth to five months without a single break. Showers were rushed and dinner left uneaten. I finally realized I was in desperate need of me time. There is nothing wrong with devoting your life to your child but when you start to forget who you are because of that devotion, it is time to take a step back and get a break.
I realized that while patience is extremely important, knowing your limitations is also important. You have to be able to step away. Being a mom is not a full time job. It is the equivalent of three full time jobs plus overtime because you are on 24/7. You can’t call in sick or take the weekend off. Realizing that you need a break is important. I finally told my husband that every Saturday, I had to get out of the house for an hour. I have to be able to step away and just be me for a little bit. That one hour a week has made such a huge impact on me. My frustration level is down. My stress level is down. I have even starting producing more milk than I was. I was so worn out that my milk supply had started to deplete to where my daughter was barely getting enough to eat.
That one little break has made the world of difference. I feel less frustrated with my husband throughout the week as well. He has noticed the difference and he understands the importance of that break, so much so, that if I say during the week I need to step out for a quick break, he immediately takes over. It is ok to be frustrated with your child. They do a lot of things that are frustrating and are difficult to handle when you are at the top of your stress limit. It is ok to take a break. It doesn’t make you a bad mom if you need one, it actually makes you a better mom. I challenge every mom out there who feels like they are at the end of their rope to take just one hour a week. Go get your nails done, go shopping, go read a book. Whatever it is that will make you feel like you again, do it. I promise, it will help so much!
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