A Simple Solution to Husband Frustration

Last week, a reader emailed me stating that she was mad at her husband because he didn't help her around the house. I think a lot of women face this problem but the solution could be as simple as asking for help. 

Most men do not think like we do. It is a scientific fact. Their brains run on a completely different operating system. A man will not walk by a sink of dirty dishes and say, “Hmmm… let me wash those.” No he will walk right on by said dishes and continue about his regularly scheduled broadcast. Most likely, that is anything that doesn’t include washing those dishes. He doesn’t think like you, nor is he a mind reader. If you think that he can do either one of those things then your marriage ship is sunk before you ever really set sail.

As hard as it may be, as a wife, you have to realize that he will never think like you. You are a complicated creature, a lot goes on in your head. So instead of getting frustrated with him for something he can’ t help, try thinking a bit more simply.

Photo credit Whitney Koenig

I wasted a lot of time being angry with my husband because I felt he should be helping me around the house. He sees the same mess that I do right? So he should take the reigns and clean too but I realized a few things. Most people do not like to clean, I know I don't but I also don't like having a dirty house. Sometimes I have to force myself to clean. I don't like my husband being angry with me when I don't know why or being complained at because of whatever reason. I also realized he doesn't think the same way I do. Which should of been obvious, we do everything different. After realizing all of these things, I figured it was time to change tactics. I simply started to ask for his help. He helps when I ask him and that has solved our issue. Don't get crazy now, he probably still will not clean the whole house, but if you ask him to do the dishes or fold the towels to help you, odds are he will. 

Think along these terms: man who uses instructions will turn out beautiful work. A man who refuses to follow instructions for something as simple as a bookshelf will end up with a disaster on his hands. You do not come with instructions. He does not have the guide to navigate your mind. Pointed looks and being angry will get you no where if he doesn’t know why. Communicate your needs to him. Odds are he wants you to be happy and he will be happy if you are happy. He didn’t marry you to be miserable so guide him into your mutual happiness.