Getting back into the swing of things has been interesting to say the least. I have stayed steadily busy in the last couple of weeks and I am totally loving it. I have been finding the home life balance I need. I haven’t quite figured out how to maintain everything but I am getting there. The high priority stuff is getting done at least. I feel like this piece of me has been missing for a long time and I finally have it back. Even if I can’t take care of everything, I feel like I am taking care of me and the important stuff in life.

My first session back in the game was a graduation announcement shoot. There were so many aspects of this session that I loved. First being the graduate herself. She has Juvenile Ideopathic Arthritis along with several other secondary conditions. The morning of the session, she had a Remicade infusion. What that is, is a biological medication used to suppress the immune system in order to control inflammation and try to correct and prevent damage. She was feeling so bad, we were planning to reschedule the shoot if necessary. After she got her hair done, she was feeling absolutely horrible but she decided to try to take the pictures anyway. She showed up, pushed through the pain and we were able to get some gorgeous pictures. I was so beyond impressed with how she handled herself. Even though she was miserable and in a ton of pain, she smiled and was happy to be living in that moment.

The second is as a Texan, blue bonnet season is the best. We picked a gorgeous location for her session. A sea of blue bonnets. We also arrived before the place completely filled up and the sun was setting perfectly to get the exact shots that I wanted.

And then there was Emma. The beautiful and sweet borrowed husky. When the mother of the graduate approached me for pictures, she said her daughter was going to a school with a husky mascot and would love to get her pictures done with them to announce the school she was attending. Shooting with animals can be difficult but it definitely wasn’t my first time so I was up for the challenge. I was able to locate a friend with the perfect pup for the gig. Besides adding fluffy cuteness to this session, Emma also helped our graduate to have added excitement. She was looking forward to the shoot all day because she was going to get to play with a husky.

Overall, it was a fantastic first session back. I am thrilled with how gorgeous the pictures came out and I am also proud to have spent time with such a strong young woman. I can’t say enough how amazed I still am that she pulled through and could smile the way she did. Strength comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes we can surprise ourselves doing just a little more than what we thought we could.

My husband and I both maintain a very busy schedule these days. We both work full time jobs. We both do our own creative work in our spare time. He does woodwork and leather work. He can also make whips which has been a fan favorite lately. I help him keep up with his customers because quite honestly, I am the people person in our relationship. We both have our own hobbies and interests because we are just totally different. Not to mention our little monster who wants to stay up late and get up early... no exhaustion here! It has been hard in the last few weeks since I picked my camera back up to find time to really spend time together.

We have always been good about sharing the same space while we do our own thing.  I am a huge fan of reading. Right now I am TOTALLY obsessed with Rachel Higginson. Please note, she added me on Facebook and I was super excited but not in a creepy "I stalk her" way. I just look out for when she posts about her books that I am waiting for. (In case you are reading Rachel, I am not a weirdo but your books are amazing lol) Anyway, Jonathan is more of a TV fan so he can watch whatever he wants while I sit close by and enjoy my book. We each get to do what we want but we are close to each other. It works for us on a day to day basis. Now we still go out to play pool because it is something we enjoy together or going out to eat or for a drink but for the home life, this is what we enjoy. And Walking Dead binges right now...

Here lately that has been a little harder to do. We have both been going non stop and whether he is working at his work space or I am sitting at my desk, sometimes we can't be in the same space. I was kind of getting tired of all the space between us. It isn't easy to enjoy time together if you can't be in the same room. With that being said, I purchased a new laptop and have absolutely loved the experience. I can edit from the couch or in his work space if he can't work in the living room. Not to mention just the basic editing software that came with this laptop is legit good. I will most likely look into a full editing software so I can do all my work from my new laptop but for now, I will probably just go back and forth. I am honestly too tired to add anything else to my list lol. Except I may need a date night out soon... as soon as we can get done with our Walking Dead binge because I am too obsessed with that to do anything else I don't have to lol.

Here is the link to my new laptop. I had an IT friend pick it out for me and it is exactly perfect for what I need: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B073WQLZ7M/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

You can check out more of my husband's work at https://m.facebook.com/JP-Lone-Star-Designs-1481247952092723/

And in case you haven't been to my Facebook page, here is the link :) https://m.facebook.com/camolacebaby/

If there is one thing about me that most people may not realize it would be the depth of my emotions. When I feel something, it is all the way. I am not talking about love it or hate it. Although, I am generally not neutral on most subjects. I am talking about feeling for people. When I feel for someone, it is strong. Almost painful because I care so much. I am one of those “I love you so much it hurts” kind of people and I mean it. So when I say that I love my niece, McKynna, I mean it with everything. This girl was my “first child.” She was the reason I wanted my own child. Maybe plural at some point. She is up on a pedestal as far as I am concerned and there is no wrong that child can do for the rest of her life that would make me feel any different. That’s a powerful love.

That all being said, this week has been a tough one for me. She is nearing the end of her senior year of high school. I did not prepare myself for the emotional rollercoaster I would go on. Now to some people, I am just an “aunt” so I probably shouldn’t care so much but for me, that is just not the case. It is not a possibility. Loving her as my own has made sure of that. I changed her diapers. I watched her discover her true passion, softball. I went to as many games as I could but now I wish I could have made it to more. There are just so many good memories that were made. Memories that I can only associate with her. Watching her pitch come back into her face. The fear I felt that she was hurt. Then the amazement as she told the umpire she was fine and wanted to keep going. The times she bunted the ball and I’d yell for the coach to just let her swing. The times she knocked the hell out of the ball. The times she made a homerun. The times the she dove for an impossible ball or caught an amazing catch. How happy she would be when she saw I made it to a game. The pride that I have felt in her ability on and off the field. The list goes on.

This week things are changing. She played her last high school softball game on Monday night and I could barely handle it. I am not really ready for this part to be over. I am not yet ready for her to be this age. I am not ready but she is. As an extra loving aunt, I have to let go. Say my prayers and let God do His thing. Tomorrow, she will officially sign for her college and I could not be more proud. Proud of her accomplishments and who she is as a person. Proud and a little sad for the end of this chapter of her life. It feels like the end of a chapter for me too. I can only imagine how I will feel when it is time for Dakota to leave the nest lol. I have spent so much time watching her on the softball field and while she will go on to play college ball, I just feel something I can’t place my finger on. Maybe it is an emptiness because she won’t be as close. Maybe it is a fear of change. Things have been the same for so long and now her going off to college will change.

It is not always easy but life is always about change. You live, you learn, you grow, you fail, you try again until you succeed. She has worked so hard to thrive in everything she does. She stands out in everything she does. College will be just another stepping stone to an amazing life she is working to create for herself. For now, we still have senior prom, senior pictures and before we know it, graduation. And I will be an overly emotional, happy/sad mess every step of the way.

McKynna, I am so very proud of you! You are sweet, funny, smart, talented and you have a heart of pure gold. I have been a truly blessed aunt for the last – almost - 18 years. I love you more than words (we all do) and I hope Dakota grows up to be just like you.

Since my last blog post a few years ago, not too much has changed but so much has changed at the same time. I went back to office work. Something I realized after the initial adjustment, I really needed. I needed the adult interaction. I needed to challenge myself to learn new things and have the ability to help the employees I serve. I have learned that working full time without my daughter 24/7 is hard but also so very beneficial for us. I miss her while I am at work but she has blossomed being in school. She is the teacher’s helper. She loves to help take care of the babies. Something I am sure she picked up from watching me take care of children while I nannied with her by my side. My baby is also not a baby anymore. She is now four years old, very independent and head strong. 

 

Dakota is sweet, chatty, helpful and funny. She knows how to make us laugh when she is in the midst of getting in trouble. She is smart. She can tell us where we are going by the road we are on, something that I cannot do as a 30 year old. Her favorite person is Wonder Woman and she wants to be just like her. She wants to fight off the bad guys and be tough just like Wonder Woman. Raising this little Wonder Woman is challenging on a good day. She is just too smart, too quick to justify a behavior she thinks is ok and she is too cute for my own good. 

As a parent, you give up a lot of things. Some things you don’t miss but some things you do. Free time, sleeping in, drinking a whole cup of coffee before it gets cold, being able to potty by yourself, using a more adult word for “potty” and other things along those lines. The thing I have missed the most is I gave up doing photography for the last four years. At first, I gave it up because I was just so tired all the time, then I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her after I started my office job but now that she is older, I am picking it back up again. Photography has been part of my life since I was 8 years old. It started with a disposable camera and the land we owned. In high school, I was able to get my first digital camera and I focused on sports photography. As an adult, I was busy most weekends with family photography. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until recently. I have since decided to jump back into it so with several sessions booked, a new camera and my little Wonder Woman by my side, I can’t wait to get back to the work I love!